It’s Donald Driver’s fault.

The Green Bay Packers star wide receiver and Alcorn alum came to Batesville March 29 to speak at the Boys & Girls Club fundraiser. While he was at the banquet he gave the club a $5,000 donation. Now that’s enough to make me a fan for life. But what I really like about Donald is his cha-cha.

He’s currently a contestant on ABC’s Dancing With the Stars. The reality TV show pairs celebrities from sports and entertainment with professional dancers for weekly competition that is shown live and hyped like the Super Bowl.

On week two of the competition, after Donald and his partner Peta Murgatroyd had turned in a stellar quickstep, he flew in from Hollywood to fulfill his commitment to our Boys & Girls Club.

Belinda Morris’ announcement back in February that Donald would be coming to Batesville coincided with ABC’s announcement that Donald would be participating in Dancing With the Stars.

Belinda seemed excited. My curiosity was piqued. My sister has been a fan of the show for years, but I’d never watched it.

In fact, I’ve missed a great many cultural phenomena. I’ve never watched The Simpsons, Survivor or American Idol.

I have watched every episode of Season 14 of DWTS.

My family abandons the living room to me on Monday nights, and again for the results show on Tuesday nights. (They seemed unconcerned when Sherri Shepherd left in tears the night she was kicked off.)
I am totally consumed by the show…the dances, the costumes, the drama (somebody gets eliminated each week) and the personalities of the competitors.

I find myself, at odd times, thinking about the contestants, all of whom I refer to by first name.

Roshon and Chelsie are young and energetic; Katherine and Mark are elegant. I worried about Melissa after she hit her head on Maks’ leg on week four. She had to go to the hospital, for crying out loud. William hurt his leg and Maria fractured a rib.

I wonder if they are practicing right now. It seems as soon as they finish with one show, they must start rehearsing for the next dance. The celebrities, after all, are famous for other talents, not their dancing skills. It takes the expertise of their professional partners to work with them week to week, choreographing the dance and then teaching it to the novice.

Viewers of DWTS are exposed to various dance genres: jive, cha-cha, Viennese waltz, Brazilian tango. Pretty soon you find yourself glued to the flatscreen, on the edge of your seat, hoping Maria doesn’t trip again on her long swirling skirt as she and Derek skip up the stairs in their foxtrot.

Part of my fascination with DWTS may stem from my childhood. My sister figured this out. When we were young, our family would gather around the old black and white TV to watch the Lawrence Welk Show every Saturday night. (To  those who’ve never seen the reruns on public television, or the spoof on Saturday Night Live, Lawrence Welk was a famous bandleader whose weekly musical show in the ‘60s was the American Idol of its day.)

Not content to merely spectate, Betty Gail and I wanted to be participants. So we’d dance in the livingroom, swirling our nightgowns ballroom style.

No, I don’t dance in my nightgown on Monday nights.

But if 67-year-old Gladys Knight can do it…