by Rix Quinn

  Here’s a great question from Justin: “Why do a girl’s clothes cost more than a boy’s?”

  Justin, I’m guessing that since the beginning of time, women simply required more threads. Few cave ladies were content with a single fig leaf.

  When a man buys clothes, he chooses underwear, shirt, pants, socks, and shoes. But clothing selection for women is much more complicated.

  A lady doesn’t select a shirt. She must choose a blouse, button-up, lace-up, the layered look, batwings, frock, tunic, turtleneck, or something else.

  Instead of pants, she might pick a skirt, a-line, flare, mini-skirt, peasant dress, pleats, skorts, cullotes, or more.

  I’ve got three pair of shoes: a black pair, a brown pair, and mud-stained sneakers. A lady must choose between sneakers (activewear or dress), stilettos, boots, ankle booties, wedges, sandals, flats, open-toes, and about 117 other styles.

  A couple days ago, I asked an old friend to see his closet. It offered the floor space of a toilet stall. I asked to see his wife’s closet, too. It is roughly the size of a bus.

  I have a simple mind. If I’m going out to dinner, I wear jeans or shorts.

     If it’s a wedding, I choose a suit, and hope my tie matches. I never want to be mistaken for the best man, the minister, or anybody in charge of paying for it.

     Many women have more refined taste than I do, and a better understanding of dress codes. Therefore, they choose better quality and more appealing attire, which is likely more expensive, too.

     I am proud to say I have been thrown out of very few restaurants for violating the dress code. For many years, I’ve walked confidently from the house if my wife doesn’t stop me with those eight depressing words…

  “Seriously, are you actually planning to wear that?”