By Jan Penton Miller
Columnist
I tried to wait. I really did, but in the end I decided that the sparkle and shine of
Christmas could coexist with my scarecrows, turkeys, and pumpkins. It may be a
little different looking for a bit, but that’s ok.
If you could see my tree you might grin at the hodgepodge of decorations. As I
worked on it this morning my heart sang at all the beautiful memories in each
bauble. My eyes leaked a bit when I carefully unwrapped ornament after ornament
that chubby little hands had once placed in mine.
My hat goes off to each schoolteacher and Sunday school teacher who went home
with glitter and glue practically everywhere to bless this mom with a sweet
memory. Just like the story of the misfit toys that became beautiful when a child
loved them these old beat up ornaments hold a beauty when seen through eyes of
love.
All the traditions of the season make me stop to ponder if I am creating memories
that my children and grands will look back on with the same wonder. With this in
mind I just revamped my calendar. When I looked at it and felt a lot of stress
wondering how I could accomplish everything, I knew something had to change. All
the things on my calendar were good things, but I realized that I needed to prioritize
my own family even if I had to make some difficult choices.
I didn’t cut out doing for others. I just realized once again that I don’t have to
participate in every good thing. I am reminded of Mary and Martha who were both
followers of Jesus. Martha was so busy trying to get everything ready for a meal that
she was mad with Mary for sitting and talking to Jesus, and Martha thought Mary
wasn’t doing her fair share. Jesus said that Mary had chosen the best thing, and I
think choosing your family over other activities is also the best thing.
I’m so glad that I caught myself at the beginning of the Thanksgiving and Christmas
season before I went into full-blown Martha mode. Now I can appreciate and enjoy
my family and the traditions we experience together without feeling resentful
because I’m worn out from trying to do everything.
When I think back to my holiday experiences as a child my mamaw did the most to
make the holidays special, but she focused on her family. She worked hard and was
very busy, but she had time to tell us stories. She took us for walks in the woods, and
cooked all our favorite dishes. We cut down a tree from the farm, and it had no
designer decorations. All the siblings, cousins and I strung popcorn and helped put
on the few old baubles. It was a Charlie Brown tree before Charlie Brown.

These memories ground me and help me to remember that everything doesn’t need
to be perfect to be special, and it’s ok to say no.