By Ricky Swindle

Muffler Shop Musings

Howdy, friends!

As you are reading your weekly Panolian this Wednesday morning I am flying back home from the Bahamas.

My bride and I have been at this paradise since Saturday. I have been thinking about all ya’ll and wondering, “Reckon what the poor folks are up to?”.

Now that’s a old joke I heard Mississippi’s own Johnny Russell, writer of Act Naturally, The Baptism of Jessie Taylor, and  Red Necks, White Socks, and Blue Ribbon Beer tell one time.

He and Little Jimmy Dickens were reared back, drinks in hand, relaxing on Jimmy Dean’s million dollar yacht. Johnny said, “Little Jimmy, reckon what all the poor folks are doing about now?”

Before Little Jimmy could reply, Jimmy Dean said, “I can tell you this, two of em are sitting on my boat!”.

To be truthful, as I am writing this musing I am not even there yet. This is Thursday and it’s “the third of June, another sleepy dusty delta day,” borrowing from another great Mississippi artist, Bobbie Gentry.

My stories have to be turned in on Mondays to be printed in Wednesday’s paper.

I have been to the Bahamas before, and Monday I will be too busy to write after swimming and snorkeling with the sharks and stingrays all day. Oh yeah, I have done that before.

Vacation is a crazy word. Websters defines it as “a period spent away from home or business in travel or recreation – like, they had a restful vacation at the beach”.

I agree with it being a period spent away. I don’t know about you, but I do not get much rest on a vacation.

There is only a limited amount of time for your stay all tangled up with a multitude of things to do mixed in together with all the sites you wish to see.

My wife is one of those vacation organizing gurus blended together with a drill sergeant attitude. “Ok, we are doing this this and this on this day and that that and that on that day. Now come on, hop to it. Hut, one, two, three, four…”

Rest ? Relaxation ? Oh, no sir Private, that’s ugly words. Left face, right face, forward…March!

It is going to be good though. We get to go with some friends we have gone with before. I am grateful after the year we just experienced that we are once again able to go and do again.

To get in the Bahamas you must first have a negative Covid test within five days of arrival unless you have a vaccination card. Well, there will be no nose swabbing for me and the Mrs. because we are carded up.

We have purchased an insurance policy with our trip that if for some unforeseen reason we get a touch of the virus while there then we can stay in our room quarantined with all the perks.

I could probably use the rest after five days of paradise boot camp, but I will be more than happy to get on that jet airliner and head back to the Sip.

My three day Florida trip in February that turned into 11 days and seven canceled flights because of the snow storm is still fresh on my mind. Although I am sure it will not snow in Mississippi in June, my since paid off credit cards are ready for a swiping.

I do not plan on swiping my card too often as this trip is fully paid for by a company I do business with. Folks, if you ever have the opportunity to take an all- inclusive trip to a 5 star resort paid for with someone else’s wallet I would suggest leaping at the chance.

I have also registered my phone with C-Spire alerting them I will be traveling out of the country. I learned that trick years ago from a friend who traveled there and simply turned on his phone.

On returning home, he discovered that hackers had taken his phone info and left him with a $1,700 phone bill. The phone companies offer international protection but you must sign up for it and give them your travel date.    

Why would I put an article in the paper informing folks I am gone?

1. 1. I am on the way home as you are reading this.
2. 2. Sheriff Shane Phelps and The Panola County Sheriff’s Department offer a service that I always take advantage of. If you will be out of town, notify them of your trip date. They are more than happy to run regular patrols all the way to your front door.
3. 3. We have workers at our home doing a small remodel while we are away and they will be anxiously awaiting our return to be paid for their services.
4. 4. We have great neighbors.
5. Take care of yourself folks. I will most likely tell y’all all about The Bahamas next week.
6. Write to Ricky Swindle at rickyswindle@bellsouth.net